Dearest you,

You ever heard the saying " songs hit different when you can relate to them"? 
I'm sure you heard it worded differently but you get the point. 

Well, there's a song that I've been hearing a lot lately from my peers and melenials on twitter . It is one that every child longing to "grow up" chants, until it's spoken into existence bringing with it a rude awakening .  
                                        " ADULTING SUCKS"
We all at one point craved independence from our parents. We daydreamed about our first apartment. The freedom that is promised to us as soon as we leave for or graduate college. It is not until we have that freedom that we realize that it is not all that it seemed. We start being responsible for ourselves financially and stress over bills. On top of that, most of us suffer from mental illnesses that just makes the pressure and the stress of adulting worse.  

I for once was forced to grow up much sooner than the average person. I will not go into details about it as of now but I was emancipated from my father when I was just sixteen years old. I had to start being responsible for myself at sixteen and I've been doing it for 4 years now and counting. In my 4 years of "adulting", I've had 3 apartments. All of which I paid for mostly by myself but there came times that I couldn't.

Three months after I turned 20, I faced the fear of eviction as my seasonal job came to a sudden end. I couldn't find a job for a month. I fell back into heavy depression as I was back to square one. Thankfully everything worked itself out. I got back to working the following month. With the help of saving and tax returns, I was able to pay off all my remaining months of rent in one day.  Almost being evicted made me re-evaluate my life as well as my bad spending habits.

The thing is, although I had " more" experience adulting, I still made the same mistakes as somebody that is just starting.  And I know there are many more mistakes I'll make going forward but the important is for me to learn from them. I've only just began my twenties but I know there's a wild ride ahead of me. There are going to be many more meltdowns. A lot of self doubt.  A feeling of lost and all the goodness that comes from growing up . But I will try my hardest to always keep the hope alive because it has gotten me through everything. 

I hope you will too :)

Ps. Here are some text responses from the adults in my life that have been there and done that. I questioned them on how they survived their twenties right after one of my meltdowns. This are their answers. I hope it helps.

Photography : FAITH
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